I was watching Insecure this morning and I was delighted! Finally, my crazy has been portrayed by the quirky, obsessive, and stalky Issa. Issa demonstrates that there are new levels of obsession that I have yet to achieve. I relished in the assorted actions and retractions from Issa (shout out to the delete button). It soon came to me that this behavior may be somewhat dysfunctional????? Just maybe when he stops calling or when you don’t get the promotion you just may need to let it go.
So here is how I’ve kept my crazy in check.
- You have to decide let things go even while you are still in it. No, it hadn’t been much time since Issa spent time with Nathan. Yes, it was just a week ago (tv week anyway) since he said he thought it was the real thing. Yes, he did make his presence unknown while still presently living his best life. The lack of communication and decency may be the first sign that you need to start forgiving and moving on. It’s up to that person to decide if they will awaken from the dead. When that time comes, allow them to plead their case and then decide if you would like to allow them back in. But until then, you still need your peace of mind. Start the process before the situation imprints itself on your spirit.
- Everything is not for you & everybody will not want you. This is the best advice I’ve ever received from my father. I was ugly crying on the phone with him for hours about a guy who broke up with me. He said, “Baby girl, everybody isn’t going to want you and that’s just what it is.” I just stopped crying and let that sink in. I still remind myself of it to this day. That person may not be meant for you and that position may not be either. We aren’t guaranteed an explanation. So focus on the energy it takes to attract that person, that position, that business, and that life. Prayers are still being answered and people are still manifesting their visions. That vision may not always belong to you and maybe that person was a part of someone else’s call. Instead of stalking and sulking, give, pray, envision, and manifest what you want in your life.
- Someone will want you and you will get that callback. We live in a world of abundance. That doesn’t mean that you need to fill your world with 1000 relationships. Do you need every attractive person that comes your way? All the promotions at your company? You have all that you NEED at this time. If you are taking everything, what are you leaving for everyone else? Do you want to live in a world where everyone around you is lack? Can you imagine the amounts of hate and man-snatching that would occur? All the stealing and negative energy? We need NONE of that!
- The past no longer exists. Only your present situation is real. Their no text backs and ever-present social media existence aren’t real. You are real. Your feelings are real but what happened yesterday only exist in your head. The world and time move forward even if you decide not to. Don’t yourself what did wrong. You still need to go after gods purpose in your life. You still need to wake up and work towards your vision for yourself. Don’t drive yourself crazy about something that cannot change and most likely should not change. Living in the present is where you feel alive! We are all in need of more life and more of what’s real.
- Stick with the facts. Do you want to be with a ghost? Someone who has no problem with disappearing and reappearing whenever they please? Do you want someone who will invest time and energy in something just to walk out on their investment? Are you in need of yet another time waster? No, you are not! Want to know why? Because you have shit to do! Yes, sir/ ma’am you surely do and we are all waiting on it!
- Know that stalking is an attempt to regain control Ghosting reveals how incapable we are of controlling other people. So we internet stalk and dig in order to regain our sense of control. all with the attempt that it will give us back a piece of our ego and dignity. In reality, we can barely control ourselves so why do we attempt to control others? Haven’t we all made bad decisions when it comes selecting the people in our lives? Haven’t you ever been a bad friend or partner? Why are we surprised when it happens to us? Preserve your peace by being quick to forgive. If ghosting didn’t happen, you won’t feel as special when someone wants to be around for the long haul.