Asking for more

Have you found yourself having a complete and utter bitchfest? I’ve literally sat ant my desk and wrote a list of everything in my life that I felt was shit. I literally named the list “shitty is as shitty does”. As you imagine, I was in a particularly mercurial mood this day. I remember it starting with a string of “first world problems” that started with my dog vomiting on the carpet and a “not so perfect” coffee order. This somehow spiraled into the self-deprecating “shitty is as shitty does” list. FYI Instagram can provide an ample amount of empirical data in this area.

To add insult to injury, I decided to consult my instagram feed to precisely establish exactly how much of life I was missing out on (smart, I know). JesusMUSAT have been on the main line because I was stopped mid-bitch. I was then slapped with the knowledge that my current state was solely a reflection of the standards that I held. My surroundings and circumstance were the physical manifestation of my standards and self-worth. I was immediately hit with the reality that my life would improve as soon as I upgraded my standards. Up to that point, I was ok with the quality of my life. I’d gotten used to living on edge. I was fine was having just enough to support myself and my activities. It wasn’t until that bitchfest that I acknowledged that I was in the exactly where I was supposed to be. I knew that I would remain there until I decided that it wasn’t good enough for me.

What areas do you need to increase your standards? Why aren’t you requiring more out of life?

I’ve been actively engaged in improving my standards. I felt I was making progress until this happened….. WATCH NOW

For the Passive Visionary…..

There are so many pleasantly purposeful and productive people out in the world. They take on their lives and potential by storm. They stay focused, productive, positive, and they push forward. They don’t stop until they have received all of what life has for them. They are motivated beyond belief and their energy is infectious. If you are that person, this blog post isn’t for you. IMG_3150

I’m talking to the person who hasn’t tapped into their full potential. I’m talking to the person who has big dreams and goals but their insecurity stops them from following through with their ideas.  Give me the person who has all of the intelligence, skill, and influence in the world, but they aren’t playing full out. I want the person who is looking at what everyone else and deciding that they don’t add up. I want that person because that person was me. We need to get together to break out of that self-containment system and to get some wins in life. Suffering and challenges in life are guaranteed. Therefore, you have to put forth the effort to catch some WINS (I’m tired of taking L’s… aren’t you?)

Today you have to decide to stop doubting yourself. There is nothing to doubt anyway. Only good things can come from trying. You either the experience necessary to develop your next strategy or you will have a win. Either way, you are still winning and living your life. Show gratitude for your life and the air that you are breathing by actively engaging your potential. That means, that you have to start working your skills and gifts and start applying them toward your community, organization, job, relationships, or new business. Someone had to pay for your gifts in order for you to have them. So it is your RESPONSIBILITY to begin to work with it.

What is even more frustrating is that your insecurity, procrastination, and fear directly correlates to the EXCEPTIONAL SKILLS AND GIFTS THAT YOU HAVE. Just like a baby fighting against birth, you are fighting against your visions and dreams. It’s time for that part of you to give up the ghost (old saying that means to die). We are going to start the process today! Fill out this goal sheet (by hand if you can…..something magical happens when we write… neuroscience backs up this statement but I’m too tired to go look for the particulars….but please feel free:). I PROMISE that you will see results by following this outline. It is practical and easy to follow. I created it to get your mind and actions moving in the same direction as your potential.

If you have any additional questions or would like 1 on 1 coaching regarding this matter, please reach out to me.

 

Until then,

HAPPY STRATEGIZING

 

The Vision and The Plan… Click here yall

 

Contact me to schedule your personal, corporate or organizational strategy sessions.

Start with Intention

Start with your intention

I get so off track so easily.  I  begin my day with a plan and schedule. I’m either off track or months pass and I’m nowhere closer my PERSONAL life’s vision. I’m learning that when you aren’t forming your world, you aren’t giving your best to others either.

 

My Old Routine:

7:00 AM – Sit in bed and think about what I’m grateful for. Read some scriptures.

7:30 AM – Feeling guilty about everything I’m not doing right

7:45 AM – Brushing teeth and getting ready while thinking “I am a Queen who makes mistakes.” (didn’t last long right)

8:00 AM – Run to the coffee maker and decide whether I’m going Brazilian, Cuban or Coffee from the boot (Louisiana).

8:30 AM – Review my to do’s for the day.

9:00 AM – Started my to do’s

9:15 AM – I’m already distracted putting out fires through email.

9:30 AM – Phone calls start… now I’m helping out a client.

10:00 AM – Performing tasks for the said client.

10:30 AM – Distracted by personal calls.

11:00 AM – Asking myself where the time is going… guilt is kicking in.

12:00 PM – What’s for lunch?

1:00 PM – Need another cup of coffee and more water.

1:30 PM – Getting back on track

Next thing you know… I’ve done everything for everyone else and I’m nowhere close to my goals.

I need a sense of accomplishment and forward motion. That is how I protect my energy and motivation.  People only get discouraged when they don’t see growth. We become apathetic and demotivated if they continue in that state. I can’t allow that to happen.

I need more life.  I need to feel my growth.  My dreams have to get closer. Therefore I start my day thinking about what I want. I schedule my day with all of that in mind. Most importantly, I KEEP SCORE. I recognize  the small accomplishments. The big moments are too far spread apart.

Here is how I stay on track. There is power in intention and words. Write it down and make it plain!!!!

 

Hope this helps!


Print Your Copy of “Intentional Daily”

 

 

What I learned from Season 3 Episode 7 of Insecure……..Get over it.

insecureseason3episode7I was watching Insecure this morning and I was delighted! Finally, my crazy has been portrayed by the quirky, obsessive, and stalky Issa. Issa demonstrates that there are new levels of obsession that I have yet to achieve. I relished in the assorted actions and retractions from Issa (shout out to the delete button). It soon came to me that this behavior may be somewhat dysfunctional?????  Just maybe when he stops calling or when you don’t get the promotion you just may need to let it go.

So here is how I’ve kept my crazy in check.

  1. You have to decide let things go even while you are still in it.                                                                                                                                                                   No, it hadn’t been much time since Issa spent time with Nathan. Yes, it was just a week ago (tv week anyway) since he said he thought it was the real thing.  Yes, he did make his presence unknown while still presently living his best life. The lack of communication and decency may be the first sign that you need to start forgiving and moving on. It’s up to that person to decide if they will awaken from the dead. When that time comes, allow them to plead their case and then decide if you would like to allow them back in. But until then, you still need your peace of mind. Start the process before the situation imprints itself on your spirit.
  2. Everything is not for you & everybody will not want you.                                                                                                                                                                                                This is the best advice I’ve ever received from my father. I was ugly crying on the phone with him for hours about a guy who broke up with me. He said, “Baby girl, everybody isn’t going to want you and that’s just what it is.” I just stopped crying and let that sink in. I still remind myself of it to this day. That person may not be meant for you and that position may not be either. We aren’t guaranteed an explanation. So focus on the energy it takes to attract that person, that position, that business, and that life. Prayers are still being answered and people are still manifesting their visions. That vision may not always belong to you and maybe that person was a part of someone else’s call.  Instead of stalking and sulking, give,  pray, envision, and manifest what you want in your life.
  3. Someone will want you and you will get that callback.                                                                                                                                                                                                         We live in a world of abundance.  That doesn’t mean that you need to fill your world with 1000 relationships. Do you need every attractive person that comes your way? All the promotions at your company? You have all that you NEED at this time. If you are taking everything, what are you leaving for everyone else?  Do you want to live in a world where everyone around you is lack? Can you imagine the amounts of hate and man-snatching that would occur? All the stealing and negative energy? We need NONE of that!                                                                                                  
  4. The past no longer exists.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                            Only your present situation is real. Their no text backs and ever-present social media existence aren’t real. You are real. Your feelings are real but what happened yesterday only exist in your head.  The world and time move forward even if you decide not to.  Don’t yourself what did wrong. You still need to go after gods purpose in your life. You still need to wake up and work towards your vision for yourself.  Don’t drive yourself crazy about something that cannot change and most likely should not change. Living in the present is where you feel alive! We are all in need of more life and more of what’s real.
  5. Stick with the facts.                                                                                                                   Do you want to be with a ghost? Someone who has no problem with disappearing and reappearing whenever they please? Do you want someone who will invest time and energy in something just to walk out on their investment? Are you in need of yet another time waster? No, you are not! Want to know why? Because you have shit to do! Yes, sir/ ma’am you surely do and we are all waiting on it!
  6. Know that stalking is an attempt to regain control                                                                                                                                                                                                     Ghosting reveals how incapable we are of controlling other people. So we internet stalk and dig in order to regain our sense of control. all with the attempt that it will give us back a piece of our ego and dignity. In reality, we can barely control ourselves so why do we attempt to control others? Haven’t we all made bad decisions when it comes selecting the people in our lives? Haven’t you ever been a bad friend or partner? Why are we surprised when it happens to us? Preserve your peace by being quick to forgive.  If ghosting didn’t happen, you won’t feel as special when someone wants to be around for the long haul.

 

What do you want?

 

IMG_1957What do you want? I’ve asked myself this questions for the past decade.  I always gave the answer the person wanted to hear, but I never revealed my deepest desires. Why? Because I was scared of the answer myself.

Acknowledging your deepest desires requires you to have complete and utter honesty with yourself. This was always a scary notion for me.  The moment I began to feel the joy of that dream, I became immediately aware of the pain of not succeeding.  As a result, I would create plans and creating goals that look good on paper and to friends but only gave me a lukewarm sense of accomplishment. Next thing you know, I succeeded at the task, take fake pictures, post it, cross it off of my list, and a day or so later I was back to feeling uninspired and lost. Sound Familiar?  Here are a few thoughts that I had to internalize.

 

  1. Know that there is NO ONE single path to success.  People from every walk of life and circumstance are running toward their visions every day.  The only common denominator they have is a strong self-image and the will to do what it takes.
  2.  You are dreaming and fantasizing for a reason.                                                              I am not crazy and neither is my subconscious. There is a reason why I would have the same dreams and visions for my life regularly. If it were impossible for me to live that life or if the goal was too difficult for me to handle, I wouldn’t have the ability to imagine it. For example, I cannot envision mathematical equations and various forms of calculus, therefore I don’t dream about being an engineer. It’s not that I can’t acquire the mental capacity. It’s the simple fact that it isn’t a part of my life’s journey. (All the C’s I received in math doesn’t help either)
  3. You will never be satisfied or experience peace until you are actively acting out your purpose.                                                                                                                       Nothing was ever enough. It didn’t matter how many pats on the back I received. I never felt peace or fulfillment. Why? Because I wasn’t moving towards the life that I wanted. I wasn’t actively involved in impacting the world around me. I wasn’t helping to alleviate the problems that I saw in my community. It wasn’t until I engaged with my visions that I began to experience peace, freedom of thought, and creativity. If that is not enough, know that THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ABSOLUTELY NEED YOU TO ENGAGE THAT DREAM. You are the answer to someone’s challenges.
  4. You aren’t as far away as you think you are.                                                                      I have clients who believed that they were 5,000 miles walked away from their goal. You are a few mindsets tweaks and actions away from starting your climb. The rest of your life is waiting for you to start making those changes.
  5. EVERYTHING we do is a process.                                                                                 Every habit, every mindset, and our character has been developed over the course of time. Your plans and actions will need time to develop and come to fruition. Focus on what is in front of you. Am I making the best decisions today? What actions will bring me an inch closer to my reality?  Ask yourself, “what do I have now”? “What investment CAN I make today in order to get closer to the life that I want?”
  6. Visualize & Remind.                                                                                                                 Every day you will be bombarded with messages about how impossible it is. Remember if it were impossible, you wouldn’t be able to see it! You can’t feel things that are impossible. You must remind yourself of the vision and how SWEET it will be when it happens.  Make notes, mockups, posters (whatever works for you), and place them everywhere.
  7. Share your goals and desires with someone that you trust.                      Discussing your dreams, goals, and future is invigorating. It intensifies your desire to take action and to dig deeper. When we discuss our dreams we begin to visualize the goal in more detail. The more you visualize, the more detailed your vision will become. The detail is where the magic happens! You must be sure to share this with someone that you trust and someone that you know will cheer you on as you take action. This is someone who will build your confidence and let you know that you can do it! We absolutely need to have someone to go to that will continue to cheer and give us the courage to press forward with making our dreams come to fruition.